"I accept the great adventure of being myself" - Simone de Beauvoir

Dance!

I was going through old notebooks the other day and ran into this quote. I don't know where I saw it but it apparently moved me because I wrote it down in a notebook.

[A little about Simone Lucie Ernestine Marie Bertrand de Beauvoir (9 January 1908 – 14 April 1986) was a French existentialist philosopher, writer, social theorist, and feminist activist. Though she did not consider herself a philosopher, nor was she considered one at the time of her death, she had a significant influence on both feminist existentialism and feminist theory.]

I've always loved an adventure.

Give me a passport, a plane ticket, and a destination I've never visited, and I'm a happy woman. I love wandering unfamiliar streets, meeting people whose lives are different from mine, tasting foods I can't pronounce, and discovering places I didn't even know existed.

There's something so wonderful about stepping into the unknown.

But lately, in this new stage of life, I've been thinking about a different kind of adventure. One that doesn't require a passport, a suitcase, or even leaving my front door.

The adventure of being me.

It sounds simple, right? Just be yourself.

But what if you've spent so much of your life being who you thought you needed to be?

The good daughter. The understanding wife. The dependable friend. The woman who keeps everything together. The one who doesn't complain, doesn't ask for too much, and somehow manages to make everyone else comfortable, even when she's uncomfortable herself.

Somewhere along the way, I forgot there's a person underneath that is me.

A person with her own dreams, opinions, desires, and wonderfully imperfect personality.

And sometimes, it takes a major change in life to begin discovering her again.

When Did Being Myself Become So Difficult?

When I was a child, I didn't spend much time worrying about whether I being authentic. I laughed when something was funny. I cried when I was sad. I danced when I heard music I likee.

I simply existed as I was.

Then life began teaching me the rules.

Be polite. Don't be selfish. Don't make waves. Think about what other people need. Don't embarrass yourself.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with kindness, consideration, or compromise. They're important parts of being human. And I try to live by being that kind, considerate person which I hope people know about me.

But somewhere between being considerate and being accepted, I think I began making myself smaller

I didn't always say what I was really thinking. I give up on activities I enjoyed. I hid parts of my personality because someone else doesn't appreciate it.

But Then Came The Courage to Rediscover Myself

One of the unexpected gifts of getting older is realizing that we don't have to keep living according to rules we never agreed to in the first place.

I can change our minds.

I can develop new interests.

I can decide that something I once tolerated no longer belongs in my life.

I can wear what I like, travel where I want, laugh a little too loudly, and say no without offering a five-minute explanation.

And perhaps most importantly, I can stop apologizing for being myself.

That doesn't mean I suddenly became fearless or have everything figured out.

I certainly don't!

There are still so many days when I question my decisions, worry about the future, or wonder whether I'm doing this whole life thing the right way.

But I'm beginning to understand that being myself isn't something I have to accomplish.

It's something I just have to allow.

Adventure Without a Map

When I travel, I love exploring without knowing exactly what's around the next corner.

Sometimes I get lost. Sometimes things don't go according to plan. Sometimes the most memorable experiences are the ones I never expected.

So maybe life's supposed to work that way, too.

Maybe I don't need to know exactly who I'm going to become in my next chapter

Maybe I just need to be curious enough to find out.

I'm discovering that I enjoy my own company. That I appreciate quiet moments. That I can make decisions without needing someone else's approval. That I still have a playful side, a curious mind, and an appetite for adventure.

And I'm discovering that I don't need everyone to understand me.

That's a surprisingly freeing realization.

So here's to the greatest adventure of all.

Being myself.

After all, life is a journey. And I'm still wandering.