The Google Maps of Relationships: Communication (because otherwise we're all just lost and circling the block).

Communication

Have you ever heard that joke about wishing your wife, husband, partner, child, friend, or colleague would have come with an instruction manual?  (I’m sure people in my life wish I had come with one.)  I was thinking about this and I’m fairly certain if there was such a thing, Chapter One would be about communication.

Not the “How’s the weather?” kind of communication. And not the quick text replies with emojis (though those have definitely their place). I’m talking about the kind of communication that keeps us connected and understood—whether we’re at home with our families or sitting in a meeting room.

The truth is (in my humble opinion), good communication isn’t just a soft skill. It’s at the heart of every single relationship, whether it’s personal or professional. Unfortunately, without it, there’s lack of trust. Misunderstandings can happen, and your connections with the person start to weaken. But with good communication skills you build bridges, have deeper connections, and create room for growth.

Don’t Make People Guess

Have you ever worked with someone who only spoke up after a problem happened? Or maybe you’ve been in a friendship or relationship where you felt like you were always guessing what the other person wanted?

Reactive communication is common. But it leaves gaps, confusion, and sometimes resentment.

Example: Person 1:  “Why do we always go out to eat where you want to go?” (said with resentment)

Person 2: " Because you never speak up and tell me where you want to go.” (said with confusion)

Proactive communication is different. It’s the willingness to speak up before there’s an issue.

In personal life, this might look like telling your partner you’ve had a stressful day before you snap at them about something petty. In professional life, it’s letting your team know about a deadline early, instead of dropping a fire drill on them at the last minute.

Example:  (an actual true story)

Me:  “Honey, I’m feeling a little off today so let me know if I’m being crabby.”

Jim:  (laughing) “Thanks for the warning!  But seriously, thanks for letting me know.”

Proactive communication is a kindness. It’s saying: I value you enough to be clear and honest upfront.

This is similar to one of the one of the yogic principle’s I’ve been studying. Ahimsa (non-harming). When we communicate proactively, we are practicing kindness. We’re preventing harm that might come from misunderstandings, unmet expectations, or emotional blowups. In Yoga philosophy, ahimsa isn’t only about physical non-violence—it’s about moving through life in ways that reduce harm. Proactive communication does exactly that.

Speak Like Yourself (Be You Boo)

We live in a world where it’s easy to edit, polish, and filter just about everything. Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, etc. We can also filter our mannerisms or our speech.  We do it in meetings we’re in or even in our relationships. And although professionalism and kindness are always important, authenticity matters just as much.

People normally know when you’re putting on a mask. They can feel when your words don’t quite match your values. Authentic communication is about aligning what you say with who you are.

At home, this may be telling a friend, “Honestly, I’m too drained tonight to go out, but I’d love a raincheck.” At work, it’s admitting you don’t have all the answers, but you’re committed to finding them. It doesn’t mean you go around like a bludgeon saying whatever comes to mind.  It is about honestly but it’s also about saying things with compassion.

Authenticity builds trust. And trust makes conversations flow easier.

Are You Really Listening?

Most people think of communication as words they say. But listening is the other half of the story. When you truly listen to someone, you are sending a message that the other person matters and their perspective matters. Listening is not just waiting for your turn to talk.  You can always tell when someone isn’t truly listening. They jump in as soon as  you take a breath and tell you about what they want to say.  They don’t comment on what you said because they weren’t really listening.

In your personal life, this may mean putting down your phone when someone is talking to you. In professional life, it means actually hearing the feedback from a colleague, even if it stings, instead of brushing it off and thinking their thoughts don’t matter.

The funny thing is, when people feel like you are listening to them, they normally become better listeners in return. It creates a loop of understanding that benefits everyone.

So Why Does Communication Matter?

Whether you’re talking with about your best friend, your partner, or your boss, communication is the most important thing that keeps everything tied together. It’s how we share love, express boundaries, solve problems, and collaborate toward big goals.

The truth is: no matter how busy life gets, strong communication doesn’t just happen. It takes intention. It takes slowing down enough to check in, speak honestly, and listen.

Things You Can Ask Yourself:

• Where am I not being fully authentic in my communication?

• Is their a conversation I could have today to prevent a bigger issue tomorrow?

• Do I listen to understand or just wait to respond?

Hope you all got at least one thing out of this.

Much love to all,

Ruthie