What Did You Just Say ?!?!

Inner Critic

Hello my friends,

Today I wanted to talk about the little voice in your head.

Honestly, I’ve had a very long-standing relationship with that little voice in my head. Not the one that suggests what’s for dinner or reminds me to pick up the something at the store — this one has a sharper /meaner edge. It’s that little but loud voice that pipes up right when I’m feeling brave, confident, or ready to try something new.

“You don’t know enough about this”“Too many other people are doing this”“You’re not good enough.”“You’re too old. Too young. Too much. Not enough.”

Sound familiar?

I think most women I know carry around this invisible companion — an inner critic that seems to think its job is to keep us small, safe, and stuck. Sometimes, it whispers. Other times, it shouts. But no matter how quiet or how loud it is, the impact is the same: pause, hesitation, self-doubt, and a feeling that maybe we’re really not meant for whatever it is we are thinking of doing.

My Own Inner Critic on Stage

So for years, that little inner voice had the starring role in my brain. Whenever I thought about stepping outside the box, outside my safe place, it had a script ready to go:

• When I first considered coaching: “There are already thousands of life coaches out there. Why would anyone come to you?”

• When I traveled solo to Slovenia: “You? Alone in a foreign country? You’ll get lost before you even leave the airport.”

• Even when I went to get my nose pierced: “Really? At your age?”

It didn’t matter how much I’d already overcome, achieved, or survived. That voice never quieted.

And yet, here’s what I’ve learned: the voice is wrong. It only knows fear. It’s like an overzealous security guard trying to protect things when they don’t need protecting.  To be fair, that inner voice really is trying to protect you. It's just a big old scaredy cat.

The Power of Belief

Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.” 

I can’t remember the first time I heard that quote, but I have remembered it since. That one line has stopped me in my tracks more times than I can count. Because at the heart of every self-doubt spiral is belief. Belief that I can’t or …..  belief that maybe I CAN.

If I believe the voice — if I agree that I’m too old, too inexperienced, or too ordinary — then I act accordingly. I shrink. I hesitate. I settle.

But if I choose to believe something different - even if it feels shaky at first - then my reality shifts.

Eleanor Roosevelt said the following quote that I absolutely love, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” That includes your own mind.

Talking Back to the Voice

Over time, I’ve realized that one of the best tools against self-doubt is not silence. It’s dialogue. Instead of nodding along when that inner voice gets loud, I’ve learned to answer back. And sometimes, humor is the best way to shut it down.

Here are a few comebacks I’ve used (and you’re welcome to borrow):

• Voice: “You’re too old to try this.”

  Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Did AARP appoint you my career counselor?”

  
  

• Voice: “You’ll probably fail.”

  Me: “Cool. Then I’ll fail forward in style — maybe I’ll even get a T-shirt made and let everyone know that I at least tried!.”

  
  

• Voice: “Other people are smarter.”

  Me: “Likely, and yet, here you are stuck with me. Guess we’ll make the best of it.”

It might sound silly, but laughter takes away the sting. That inner voice loses its power when you stop treating it like gospel truth and start treating it like a cranky roommate.

What Happens When We Listen

The danger isn’t that the voice exists. It will always be ther. The danger is when we listen so closely that we let it dictate our choices.

Think about it: how many opportunities have you let slip by because you believed we weren’t enough? How many dreams got shoved in a closet because we thought, “Not me, not now”?

I think about the times I didn’t speak up in a meeting because I assumed my thoughts weren’t valuable enough. Or when I convinced myself not to apply for something because the qualifications listed felt intimidating. The truth is, I was the one disqualifying myself before anyone else ever had the chance.

Moving Forward

So how do we move past the inner voice, the critic, without pretending it doesn’t exist? A few things that have worked for me:

1. Name the Voice – Giving your critic a name makes it less scary. Mine is called Ruby. No offense to any real Ruby’s out there, but this was my mother’s name and she was great at telling my why I couldn’t do something.

2. Collect Evidence – Every time you do something brave (even small), write it down. Over time, you build proof that you can, and DID.   This makes it harder for the voice to argue otherwise.

3. Flip the Script – Instead of “I can’t do this,” try “I’m learning how to do this.” Words matter. A small shift in phrasing can open up possibility instead of shutting it down.  Think about the first time you rode a bike.  You likely fell.  At least I did.  But it didn’t stop me.

4. Phone a Friend – Sometimes the inner critic gets so loud you need someone else to remind you of your worth. Choose people who know you best.  

5. 
   

A Final Thought (and quote)

Maya Angelou once said, “If you’re always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” 

This line gives me goosebumps, because it’s exactly what the inner critic wants.  It wants us to stay normal, quiet, and unremarkable. But deep down, we know we’re meant for more.

So the next time that voice chimes in, try smiling back and saying, “Thank you for your input, but I’ve got this.” If you fail, so what!.

A Gentle Nudge

If any of this feels familiar, I want you to know you’re not alone. Most women carry some version of this voice. The difference between staying stuck and moving forward is learning how to talk back, laugh a little, and take the next step anyway.

So let me ask you: what’s one thing your inner critic has been holding you back from doing — and what would it look like to do it anyway?

That’s where your real story begins.

💡 Here’s a Journal Prompt For You: Write down three phrases your inner critic tells you often. Then, next to each, write the funniest, kindest, or most empowering comeback you can think of.

Sending good vibes and love,

Ruthie