The Power of Self-Awareness

Why It’s the First Step in Personal Growth

I have a confession: Sometimes, even as a Life Coach, I get insecure (please don’t tell anyone).I can feel it in the way I react to people or circumstances.  “They told me I could join them at an event but do they really want me there or did they just feel guilted in to it?” Or maybe I don’t get any comments on a post and think that I have nothing worthy to write.

I can feel it in the way I question things Jim (my husband) says or does. A lot of times, it’s something ridiculous.  I remember one time he asked me why I had cut my hair.  I immediately when to “he doesn’t like it” “he thinks I made a mistake”, etc.  “he thinks it is ugly.”  He was honestly just curious as to what had made me want to cut it.  Poor guy.  

I can even feel it in the way I react to myself.   I remind myself of all the bad things about myself and forget about the good things. I don’t know if this is caused by hormones or diet or what but when this happens, I will shut down and go inward.  I’ll either feel sorry for myself or get mad at the other person.

But I’ve learned to stop and take a pause. In that moment — when I pause long enough to notice what’s happening inside me — that’s self-awareness. It’s not glamorous. It doesn’t always feel good. But it’s honestly the doorway to everything else.

What Self-Awareness Really Is

Self-awareness is simply the ability to notice what’s happening within you:

• your thoughts,

• your emotions,

• your patterns of behavior,

• even your body’s signals.

It’s the realization that “I’m tense right now,” or “I keep saying yes when I want to say no,” or “I’m restless because something in my life feels out of alignment.”

The tricky thing? Most of us live on autopilot. We race through our days, check the boxes, answer the emails, get the groceries, take care of everyone else — and never pause long enough to notice what’s actually going on inside.

Without self-awareness, we react instead of respond. We repeat old patterns, even when they don’t serve us. We numb out, push down, or distract ourselves.

But when awareness enters the room, everything changes.

Why I Think Awareness is the First Step in Growth

You cannot shift what you don’t acknowledge. You cannot heal what you won’t look at.You cannot grow if you don’t first see where you’re standing.

Personal growth isn’t about becoming a different person — it’s about peeling back the layers to reveal the truest version of yourself. It’s about noticing the beliefs, habits, and protective shields you’ve built over the years, and deciding which ones you want to keep and which ones you’re ready to release.

I like to think of it like gardening. If I want my flowers to bloom, I need to notice the weeds. If I  don’t see them and do something about them, they’ll keep taking up the space and nutrients. But once I recognize them, I have a choice. I can gently clear them out and make room for something more beautiful or I can leave them and let them take over the goodness.

My Own Wake-Up Calls

For me, self-awareness often arrives as a little nudge. A little nudge in my gut that says, “Pay attention. Something feels off.”

Other times, it comes in the form of my own crankiness. I’ll notice myself scrolling mindlessly, ignoring my exercise plan, or getting impatient with people I love. That awareness is uncomfortable — but it’s also a gift. Because the moment I see it, I have options.

I can ask:

• What’s causing this mood?

• Am I tired?

• Am I avoiding something?

• Do I need a walk, a pause, or simply to tell the truth about how I’m feeling?

And here’s the part that matters most: awareness doesn’t equal judgment. It’s not about shaming yourself for being crabby or tired or scared. That will just make things worse.  It’s about softly saying, “Ah, there you are, you little emotion that is feeling off. . Now I see you. What do you need?”

How a Coach Helps You See What You Can’t

Here’s where life coaching enters the picture.

We all have blind spots. We can be too close to our own patterns to notice them. Just like you can’t see the spinach (or broccoli) in your own teeth without a mirror, you can’t always see the hidden beliefs (current or past) that are shaping your choices.

A coach acts like that mirror. Not to point out flaws, but to reflect back what’s really happening.

Maybe you’ve been telling yourself, “I just don’t have enough time.” But with a coach, you begin to see it’s not about time at all — it’s about boundaries. Or you’ve convinced yourself, “I’m just not good at relationships,” but through coaching, you realize it’s a story you’ve carried since childhood that is just not true.

The awareness doesn’t come as a lightning bolt. It comes quietly, through honest conversations, reflective questions, and sometimes humor.  It’s a space that’s designed just for you. Coaching gives you permission to slow down and actually hear yourself.

What Personal Growth Actually Means

There’s a myth that personal growth is about achieving more: more success, more confidence, more achievements. But I see it differently.

Personal growth is about becoming more you.

• It’s unlearning the patterns that keep you small.

• It’s noticing when you’re out of alignment and having the courage  to course-correct.

• It’s giving yourself permission to live in a way that feels true, not just impressive.

Sometimes growth looks like bold changes — leaving the job, starting the business, taking the trip. But often, it’s quieter. It’s in those daily moments of self-awareness: catching yourself before you say yes out of obligation, noticing when you need rest, or choosing to respond with compassion instead of reactivity.

That’s growth. That’s what shifts a life from autopilot to intentional.

Why Awareness is Worth the Work

Honestly, self-awareness isn’t always fun. Sometimes it shows you truths you’d rather ignore. Sometimes it means facing the fact that you’ve been settling, or avoiding, or holding yourself back.

But awareness is also freedom. Because the moment you see something clearly, you can choose differently.

And when you string enough of those choices together — small, intentional, aligned choices — that’s when transformation happens. That’s when the life you’ve been dreaming about quietly becomes the life you’re living.

The Invitation

When I think about the times I’ve grown the most, it hasn’t been because I read another self-help book or checked off another goal. It’s been because I got honest with myself. I slowed down enough to notice what was really going on inside.

That’s the gift of coaching. It’s not about someone else giving you answers. It’s about creating the space, the questions, and the reflection that allow you to discover your own answers.

Because here’s the truth: You are already wise. You already have everything you need inside you. A coach just helps you uncover it.

And it all starts with self-awareness.